The next day I told him all about it. He heard me to the end and then said
"So Salmon thinks we should put it to the Ice Giant’s spirit that they would also benefit from the great herds."
"It was Owl’s idea really, Salmon just said a few things we might do. I think he favoured blackmail."
"Don’t sound so prissy about it. Morality differs greatly in other parts, no I suppose certain basics apply, but attitudes to blackmail, say, may be quite different. Oh dear, now you are an enchanter I suppose I shall have to stop lecturing you."
"I hope not, I enjoy it."
"So do I."
He seemed rather tired though, so I busied myself with the cooking. After a while he asked
"Did your hare have any suggestions?" I nearly dropped the cooking stones.
"Oh no. How could I have forgotten to ask? That was the main purpose of my initiation and I never gave it a thought."
"Don’t look so aghast. The ecstasy of joining with your spirit-guide drives everything else from your mind. But you have yet to get used to being two. You can just ask now, can’t you?"
I smiled at my stupidity but also at the reminder of the hare’s presence. It spoke in my mind.
"I shall put my mind to it now that I know it is our task. Just as a first suggestion though, how about approaching it from the other side? We could work on increasing warmth by empowering the southern creatures. The Ice Giants may prove intransigent. Stag mentioned Sun and trees, but thought them unapproachable. I agree there, to judge by Moon anyway. The great Hare-Spirit is closely allied with Moon but even he is of almost no influence with it. It goes its own way and I would think Sun to be the same. But there are many spirits of the south who could help. I would suggest Starling as a good one to start with. He is very approachable and reasonable, though kept busy with his large flocks."
I gave Ikaseraz a summary.
"Good. Yes, it’s often wise to have more than one approach."
"Could your spirit-guide help us? And you have yet to tell me about it."
He gazed into the fire for a while. When he returned to us he was not hopeful.
"Let’s have a hot drink and some honey, then I’ll tell you about her." I rose to prepare the refreshments but said over my shoulder
"Her? So not all spirit-guides are ’it’?
"Oh no."
That made me check with Hare.
"I felt you were like Mammoth, who said that gender didn’t apply and it was neither."
"I prefer to think that I am both, but it certainly doesn’t apply, no."
After our drink Ikaseraz said
"It was warmer in my youth, and in the Horse Cave I found a very tall oak with the nest right at the top. It glowed as if it were on fire though it never burned. In the nest was the most beautiful she eider duck you could imagine. The many lovely browns of her feathers and the softness of her when I held her - oh there is no way to describe it." He listened for a moment then looked almost shy and young.
"She says I looked handsome too. It was long ago." He fell into thought, I imagined that he was reliving his initiation.
I felt glad that we were four now and wondered if I would ever meet his beautiful eider in spirit-world, we both knew Ikaseraz so well, she more than I of course. When he spoke again it was to say
"Now you are an enchanter there are many things to do. You must complete your mammoth-hide prayer mat, then we must get you tattooed. The first thing though is to go and see your parents They know you’re back safely but they were worried for you."
"It feels so strange to have to keep things from them. An enchanter’s secrets. I used to tell Mother everything."
"Yes it is often lonely. But it helps to think that any knowledge of ours could bring them into danger if they knew it. You are only protecting them by your silence."
"That is a good thought. I’ll go now."
Mother was making medicines when I went into their shelter, but she dropped them and came over and hugged me.
"My daughter is an important person now." She smiled through tears. That started me off crying too and we just held each other for a minute or so.
Oskol looked disgusted at our emotional display and turned to Wolf.
"I am practising to be the best hunter in the group, and Wolf will be too."
"You will be a strong team and bring us much food." I said, though I had not intended to sound like a prophet. They looked at me strangely, but Eraminpe ran up to me and saved the moment by saying
"Have you brought me a present?" Mother saw I hadn’t and said
"You should not be always asking for presents, Min."
"She probably hoped for a trinket. She’s more interested in clothes and decorations, even at her age, than you ever were." she added to me.
"I know I was disappointing, wasn’t I?" She punched my shoulder gently.
"Oh you. I’m so proud of my enchanter daughter. So’s your father though he may not say so."
"Where is he?"
"Out gossiping with the other men as usual. ’Honing our hunting technique’ it’s called." We laughed but Oskol said
"He is. He’s the best hunter until I grow up."
He put his arms round Wolf who nuzzled him.
"They still sleep together, as though Wolf was tiny, and look at the size of her." I did and agreed that she was a big animal. I approached her, hoping for I don’t know what help from Wolf Spirit. She sniffed my offered hand and let me stroke her, but she was not much interested.
Father came in then looking pleased with himself. His small smile became a huge grin when he saw me and he hugged me hard. He rarely did that.
"Our Kizkur an enchanter. Who would have guessed? Congratulations, dear."
"Thank you."
"What were you looking so pleased about even before you saw Kizkur?" Mother wanted to know.
"It was about her really. We are an important family now. I have been made an Elder."
"Oh! wonderful. They should have done it years ago." She touched his hand.
"They said it was because Kizkur is an enchanter now." He smiled at me, his warm gentle smile.
"Two important people in the family in one day, this calls for a celebration. I’ll get out the mead." Even Oskol and Eraminpe were allowed some, watered down. Wolf turned her back on us and went to sleep. We had a good time telling each other how wonderful we were, drank more than we should have, and ended up considerably less than wonderful. Hare was rather surprised, it seemed they had no equivalent to mead in spirit-world.
Ikaseraz indulged me when I got home by serving our meal and cleaning up afterwards. He could hardly preach as his own sobriety had been in doubt on many previous occasions.
Early the next morning I was up and ready for the tasks of the day. I’ve never had a hangover in my life, just born lucky I suppose because I haven’t any secret remedies. Ikaseraz finally roused too and we had a small breakfast.
"The very first thing I must do is to play my harp to Hare." I told him.
"That’s fine. I want to go and arrange your first tattooing session with Esonde. I could do it, but he’s much more skilful." I knew it would be he who did it for me, but I had hoped for somebody else. I felt bad about his son who I had failed to save with my first ever healing ceremony. It wasn’t rational, but I felt I had let him and his wife down.
"Will you come with me?" Then the non-existent blame might be shared.
"If you want me to. Have you decided what you want doing?"
"Yes, as near as possible to what Ukitu painted on me, a snake head-down on my left arm and a dragon tail-down on my right."
"Good, the bringer of fire on your right arm. It would be better to leave your face for now. Give it about two years and it will take better on more mature skin. That’s my advice."
"I have not decided what I want for my face yet, so I’m happy to leave that."
"Your arms is enough for now. Later in the year we can get your feet done."
When he had left I got out my harp. Hare knew from my mind that I was trying to summon a south wind, how easy it was not to have to put everything into words. I played everything I knew for Hare, who liked it as much as I did.
"Shall we make up a piece together?" I suggested.
"Yes let’s. Shall we make a piece about Mammoth? It has been a good friend to you and you want the mammoths in your world to come back."
"That would be a lovely thing for us to do. Do you think we should start with low slow chords to represent walking along, then go into something lighter for the effect of its friendliness?"
Hare agreed and we spent a happy morning that produced something we were satisfied with. I played it to Ikaseraz when he returned but he didn’t think it very mammoth-like. It didn’t matter, Hare and I did.
"Esonde has got a busy day today, so I said we’d go there tomorrow morning. We can take any inks we think he might not have."
"I’ll make up some of your shellfish purple into ink, snake and dragon both need that. Will it hurt?"
"Yes, somewhat. Nothing you can’t easily stand." I knew he would say that.
At the same time as making the purple ink I made up some colours as leather dyes for my prayer mat. It was a good thing that I had the experience of painting a snowy owl in the cave. White was hard to get right and I did want Hare to be perfect. I had learnt from watching Ikaseraz doing the raven, black is the same problem. He had made me practise my painting a lot when I was younger because it was a sacred act, the producing of the image was itself a ceremony to the spirits. And this one, of my own spirit-guide, was the most important of my life.
He helped me by putting some spikenard on our fire, then sitting still and gazing into the fire. Neither of us tranced, I just calmed my mind and began.
The strange thing was that I had no difficulty at all. I could see Hare there on my mat, in the important central position, just as I had when carving it on the wall of the passageway. The picture just seemed to come, like a ghost behind Hare, then the two merged and my mat was complete. I sighed and sat back. Ikaseraz came across to look and smiled into my eyes. We knew it was right.
It was dry by the evening and I could use it for paying respects to the spirits. First and always, love to Hare, then thanks to Mammoth and all the Ancients. I always remembered Misumena and Anaxa, and of course Vezeru. Lastly I gave thanks to my ancestors for their protection through another day
We arrived at Esonde’s shelter soon after first light the next day. He had all his equipment ready and was sitting waiting for us. He stood and greeted us rather formally. His wife came and welcomed us in a distracted way, her main attention was on the pandemonium at the back of the shelter where all the children had been banished to. Esonde ignored them, I suppose he was accustomed to all the screaming and wailing. It took my mind off the boy who fell to the lion, I was grateful for that.
It took a while to tell him exactly what we wanted. There was much describing and pointing. He said he would do one arm at a time, the snake on my left first. We would leave that to heal and do the right arm six days later. It seemed a long time to me. But when he had completed the snake, and my arm felt as though it were on fire, I wished he had said longer. It felt bad then, but I was surprised how quickly it began to feel better. Within two days I would happily have gone back for the other arm, but we waited as he had recommended. When they were finished I was really pleased with them. There were small differences, of course, from the ones that Ukitu had painted for me, but over all they were very similar. The snake was full of sinuous life and the dragon full of fire. We both praised his skill and I thanked him over and over, but he seemed a distant sort of man and barely reacted.
As it was my right arm that was sore now, Ikaseraz did more than his share of the work for a few days and did not suggest I do anything. I was quite happy with that, I was still turning over my initiation in my mind and discussing with Hare what do about our weather task.
The plan we came up with - Ikaseraz wouldn’t participate, he said he was afraid of influencing us the wrong way - was to go north with Mammoth’s help and put it to the Ice Giant spirit that we could both benefit. The other part of the plan was to visit Starling and ask Stag if he could recommend any other southern spirit who might be able to help, Blackbird was included as a possible advisor but we weren’t hopeful of understanding his advice. Our third idea was to ask Mammoth to tell us when Ukitu was in spirit-world and see if discussing it with her would produce anything further to try.
It was several days before I would be strong enough to go to spirit-world so in the mean time I accompanied Ikaseraz on his healing visits. For once there were no serious injuries or diseases to treat so we were soon finished. Ikaseraz told me to go on home while he made one last visit where I could not help. I knew he intended to visit Sinotsu’s father. He often did giving them what practical help he could and calling on the spirits to strengthen them.
When he came home he looked depressed. I made us a drink and sat in silence to see if he wanted to talk about it.
"It gets worse every time I go. Jaso refuses to visit them at all. While they were just insulting her she persevered, but last time she was cleaning the children up their father came home drunk and hit her. She thinks that’s how he treated his wife when she was alive. So she’s left them to get on as best they can with only the father’s sister’s ministrations. And she’s a real slattern, you should see her own shelter, and her children look like orphans." He was silent a while then added
"The older children seem past hope but I’ve always got on well with Sinotsu. This time I tried to get him to play and he gave me foul-mouthed abuse. How old is he? Four, maybe five? And such language. He’s just copying his father, but what can you do?"
I certainly couldn’t think of anything.
When my right arm no longer hurt I started to assemble my enchanter’s girdle. If in no other way one could always recognise an enchanter by the talismans hanging from their girdle. I made it from what had been my belt by replacing the leather strip and re-braiding the mammoth’s fur thongs with a tougher piece of leather which had loops for talismans to hang from. My grandmother’s bear’s tooth would stay round my neck because I had got so used to its being there. I became even more attached to it after Ikaseraz had shown me the claw marks made by our local bear at Lazcux. The size of a bear that could make scratches right up there was hard to imagine. I would love to see one. From a distance. Mother had said it was for strength and I could only wonder at how strong that bear must be.
The claw of the white bear was the most important talisman to attach. I got it out from behind the dancing mask. There was no fear now, I was allowed to touch the mask and other taboo objects. The black curve of it was so attractive. Other colours reflected off it as I held it to the fire to see it better. I had borrowed the three-sided blade from Father to make the hole in it that was necessary to hang it from my girdle because I thought my burin might split it. Even the slightest risk of that must be avoided, it would lose its power if it were broken and I was relying on it. Even Ikaseraz found it slightly disturbing still.
The three-sided blade made the hole easily and safely. I threaded it onto the girdle right at the front as a sign to everyone that I had power that must not be slighted. After that piece of bravado I decided on a gentler sign to go with it. We had some antler so I cut off a suitable sized piece and began to carve it into a woolly mammoth, both to honour my friend and in hope of its power of attraction on the mammoths of this world. The carving took longer than I had estimated because on my first one I accidentally broke one of its tusks through having made it too thin. I saved the piece to turn into something smaller in future. The second one worked alright. It hardly looked like Mammoth but you could see what it represented.
Now with my tattoos and my talisman girdle I could go out into the world unafraid.